Judge Not that Ye Be Not Judged

Today I went to a different LDS ward where a friend was giving a talk before she leaves for her mission on Wednesday.

There was a married couple that spoke after my friend. The woman was about 35 and her husband I would guess, 40. I saw the wife sitting on the stand and thought she had a great light about her and thought didn't think much more about her, really, until she stood up to give her talk.

When she stood up to speak at the pulpit I noticed tattoos on both her arms. Instantly I had a judgement - not a bad judgement, but more like me wondering why she had tattoos on her arms and what her story was.  She said, "I grew up an active member of the church. When I met my husband and we got married, we became inactive for a few years. Then I decided to get some tattoos. I used to turn away from people with tattoos and then when I got a few I noticed people would turn away from me." She bore her testimony and I grew to love her more and realized there are always 2 sides to a pancake - 2 sides to every story.

Her husband then stood up and he was wearing sunglasses and I wondered what his story was too. He joined the church in his 20s after her served in the Marines for several years. He said that he has many, many health issues such as PTSD, tourette's, and bipolar which he needs to be on a lot of medication for. He takes 25 pills a day to keep him being a 'normal' person. He sometimes has to stay at home by himself because he literally cannot handle being around other people.  He wears sunglasses because he has a really hard time being around people and even himself. When he looks in the mirror he often times doesn't recognize himself and doesn't know who he is.
When Marines come home and have mental illnesses, they sometimes get rated how bad it is. He was at the top of the scale at a 9 for how severe his illnesses are.

He shared that, "When you have a membership to a gym you aren't expected to already have 18" muscles or a size 6 waist - and if you don't have those, you get kicked out. The contract to that gym doesn't say you have to have those requirements. You go to the gym to become strengthened.
The same with the church. You aren't required to have a perfect, strong testimony when you go to church. You go to church to become strengthened."

After the meeting ended I went up to them both and started crying. I was so thankful for their testimonies and examples to me. I grew to love them both - even though I'd never met them in my life before. They were very real people. They didn't hide behind a facade of pretending to be happy, cheerful, and 'perfect' all the time - that's why I say they were real.

I had a 30 minute drive back to my house and wanted to learn how I could stop judging people, so I listened to President Uchtdorf's talk, "The Merciful Obtain Mercy" where he addresses how we can stop being so critical of others. Here are a few inserts from his address.

"This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.”

We must recognize that we are all imperfect—that we are beggars before God. Haven’t we all, at one time or another, meekly approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? Haven’t we wished with all the energy of our souls for mercy—to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed?

Because we all depend on the mercy of God, how can we deny to others any measure of the grace we so desperately desire for ourselves? My beloved brothers and sisters, should we not forgive as we wish to be forgiven?"

He continues, "The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade.

"When our hearts are filled with the love of God, we become “kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving [each other], even as God for Christ’s sake [forgave us]."

"The Savior promised: “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over. … For with the same measure that [you use] it shall be measured to you again. Shouldn’t this promise be enough to always focus our efforts on acts of kindness, forgiveness, and charity instead of on any negative behavior?

"Remember: in the end, it is the merciful who obtain mercy.¹⁷

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, wherever we may be, let us be known as a people who “have love one to another.”¹⁸

"Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.

"Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another.

The merciful will obtain mercy."

I add my words to his - I know it is our choice. Our choice to choose to be judgmental or not be judgmental, happiness or misery, love or anger. I invite you if you struggle with being judgmental to ponder in your heart how you can improve. 

I also know that it is only through God's power that we can improve. He is the one who can soften our hearts to change how we see people. I hope we can get to the point of seeing everyone around us for who they really are - that is God's children who have the potential to become like Him.

Sources:

The Merciful Obtain Mercy - President Uchtdorf