Saturday, February 13, 2016

Lessons Learned on Dating: The Lords Standard vs. The Worlds

I am going to share something I have only told about 3 people...

I used to (about a year and a half ago) go to Google and ask for dating advise. I would type things in like, "how to attract a guy" or "how to get someone interested in you" and even kissing advice - not how to kiss as I would not google that... but when to kiss or how to know if your date wants to etc...

Anyways, I would turn to Google and Wikihow. It never brought peace. I would never feel uplifted and would actually tend to be depressed.

About a year ago I stopped doing that. I realized I didn't learn anything that was a true principle. None of the advice was an eternal truth.

Then I decided another tactic to my google searches. "How to attract a guy LDS talk" or "Kissing LDS" and would do all my searches with LDS in the title and only go to true church sites - and let me tell you it was and is AWESOME!!!

I have found many great talks on dating counsel, kissing counsel and growing to be the best person I can be counsel.

Valentines Day can often bring up questions for the single people (at least for me) like, why am I single? Is it because of the way I look? Is there something wrong with me?

The answer is no.

A year ago I maybe would have thought something was wrong with me or I wasn't 'pretty' enough but because of the things I have read since then from the Brethren I know that is not true.

Wikipedia may say that is true and give advice on how to be prettier and attract the person you want to attract in a negative way - but those aren't eternal and true principles.

The truth is, we are all children of God and have absolutely incredible worth. Yes, sometimes the thought 'I am not 'pretty' or 'handsome' enough comes into our minds... but as quickly as we can we ought to try to replace that with the Eternal Truth that "I am a beautiful daughter of God" or "I am a noble Son of God" and He loves me.

Satan tries to tell us otherwise but we must cast him out and replace those negative thoughts with the uplifting thoughts!

Here are 6 ways I believe we can become more beautiful and recognize ourselves for who we really are.

1. The Light of Christ is what makes us Beautiful Sons and Daughters of God

"No amount of time in front of the mirror will make you as attractive as having the Holy Ghost with you" - Sheri Dew

I believe we have all encountered someone in our lives who we think is very attractive but once we get to know them they are not very kind (don't have the Spirit) and become less beautiful to us. The same is when we meet someone who isn't as attractive and get to know them and they become one of the most beautiful people we know. That is because they have the Spirit with them.

2. Being Cheerful Makes us Beautiful

President Brigham Young said, “There is not a man or woman on this earth, whose peace is made with God, and who are associated with holy beings, and seeking after holy principles, but their countenances are lit up with a lamp of divine cheerfulness." (Lynn G. Robbins talk)

When we are filled with faith - knowing God has a plan for us and seeking after a righteous cause, we will be filled with a 'divine lamp of cheerfulness' and become beautiful people.

3. When We Take Care of Our Bodies We Become Beautiful People


"When virtue is combined with obedience to the Lord’s laws of health and respect for the human body, young people truly become temples in which the Holy Ghost dwells, giving them a beautiful aura. It is this beauty that is most becoming and enduring." - Lynn G. Robbins

When we exercise, eat well, stay productive, we are happy. Taking care of our bodies truly changes how we feel and we become beautiful!

4.  When We Turn to God We Become Beautiful

"Our Father in Heaven sees our divine nature. We are His children. The way He sees us, because of His love for us, is perfect. The mirror which He holds constantly before us, if we will only raise our sight to look, is the one in which we should trust. Its image is always true and never distorted. He reminds us, as He did Moses, “Thou art my son [or daughter]” (Moses 1:4)." - Lynn G. Robbins

When we turn to God and trust in how He feels about us and TRUST in that, we are changed and realize that our lives aren't our own. Our lives should be fully dedicated to God. When we dedicate our lives to God we become beautiful.

5. When We see Others As Children of God We Become Beautiful (Charity)

"The world prizes body-baring “beauty.” Hollywood markets it, advertisers exploit it, and the media promote it. The Lord, however, “seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). The kind of a man a virtuous woman wants to marry also “seeth not” as the natural man seeth. He will be drawn to the true beauty she radiates from a pure and cheerful heart. The same is true for a young woman looking for a virtuous young man." - Lynn G. Robbins
 
When we look for the child of God in everyone else - as Christ does in us and everyone around us - and become filled with charity we become beautiful people.

6. Becoming Like Christ is What Makes us Beautiful

"I am perfectly satisfied that my Father and my God is a cheerful, pleasant, lively, and good-natured Being. Why? Because I am cheerful, pleasant, lively and good-natured when I have His Spirit…. That arises from the perfection of His attributes; He is a jovial, lively person, and a beautiful man.” - Heber C. Kimball 

I believe that when we become like Christ and forget ourselves in His service and put trust in Him that one day we have been promised a spouse, THAT is when we are beautiful people. When we help others along their hard journey (even when we are in the midst of our own struggles) we are in a state of how Christ would act - He was always serving those around Him. When we serve those around us we become more like Christ - who is the most beautiful person to ever walk the Earth - so we become more beautiful.

In conclusion, here is a great article on some of the dating counsel the brethren have given us. I'm not going to write out the quotes they have said, but their are great things to learn if we read it!

May we turn to the Brethren - who get their words from God (so ultimately we are turning to God) on how we can better date. 

I have learned from the Brethren not to hand out kisses like pretzels. On google I did not learn that.

From the Brethren I have learned to be the best person you can be and one day the promise God has made to you - that you will be married - will come to pass. Wikihow did not say such things.

From the Brethren I learned of my worth - who I really am as a daughter of God. From google I didn't learn that. 

Turning to God for answers is the only way to bring peace and joy into our lives.

We are all beautiful children of our Heavenly Father. May we surround ourselves with uplifting things that make us beautiful and will prepare us for the spouses we will one day marry, or if we are married, help us become better spouses in recognizing our worth and our loved one's worth's.


Sources:

LDS.org
Lynn G. Robbins talk "True Beauty"